Lesson 3 of 6
In Progress

Anger Myths

Michelle 10/11/2021

Myth 1 Anger is inherited – not true! 

We learn the way we express our anger from what we have experienced with caregivers when we were young. So, if you are a big yeller, it was probably role modelled for you from mum or dad or older sibling.

Myth 2 Anger and Aggression are the same thing -not true!

Anger is different to aggression. Anger is an emotional state, but aggression is how we express that anger in a negative way. Aggression is a type of bullying to force people to take on our point of view or give us what we want.

Myth 3 Other People make me angry – not true!

Other people do not make us angry, it is our interpretation of what they have said or done that causes anger, and the feelings that underlie it, which is something we will talk about later in the session.

Myth 4 I should not hold onto anger I need to vent! -not true!

Should you vent your anger? No, venting at the person you see as responsible for your anger is a fast way to doom for the relationship! If you are going to vent it is best to do it with someone else not involved in the situation to get it off your chest and decompress. We will talk more about this later.

Myth 5 Anger and aggression helps me to get what I want and gain respect – not true!

Anger with aggression does not bring you respect, it is bullying, and it may get you want you want in the moment, but it will turn people away from you, and people do not respect or like people who cannot control their anger.

Myth 6 Anger only affect a certain category of people. – not true!

Anyone can get angry; it is a universal emotion that affects anyone. If you are poor or rich or from any culture you will experience anger although expressions of anger are different in different social groups.

Myth 7 Anger is something I cannot control -not true!

Anger is something you can control, you cannot stop yourself FEELING it, as it is useful sometimes, we need it, however it is something you can learn to control, you can practise controlling it, using some skills we will take about later.

Myth 8 When I am angry, I will say what I really mean -not true!

When we are angry, we do not always say what we mean, that is only in the movies! In fact, when we are incredibly angry, we say things that we immediately regret, either because we know they are very hurtful or untrue. Once those words are out there though, we cannot take them back, they are out there in the air! and they can have a devastating effect on our relationships and repairing that relationship can be much harder, once again this is something we will talk about later.

Myth 9 I need to say what I am thinking, or it will fester in me, and I will feel angrier later – not true!

By not saying what you think in the middle of your anger does not mean it will fester and you will get angrier, in fact if you give yourself “time out” you will come back to that issue without the anger sting and talk about it calmly, we discuss this later too. 

Myth 10 Men are angrier than women- not true!

Men are not angrier than women! they have just learnt to express it in more aggressive ways, generally, but women express it more by isolating, backstabbing, or doing passive aggressive things such as inviting everyone to a snap chat excluding you but making sure you are aware of it.